in between

I'm so Moody, I'm: The current mood of at

Can you sometimes dream too much? I mean, can all the wants and desires you carry around with you on a day to day basis just get too much?

Sometimes I feel that I just want things too much. And so that's why they never come to me. I don't know. I've looked at it from sideways and downways. Upways and frontways and I still don't seem to have anymore of the answers then I did before....

When I look at my life I see this long empty road, with a few turns here and there to add color, but mostly I see it as a lonely trip. And the sad thing really is that doesn't even bother me anymore. I am who I am. Perptually single and alone. I sleep in a single bed and I let the tv sing me to sleep. I miss things, sure, but then I think how can I miss what I've never had? Because the truth is, I only think I know these things, when in reality, I know nothing at all.

It's hard to fight that feeling; that feeling that you're just taking up space. Especially when you don't have anyone to tell you that they like the space you're taking. I'm tired of being my own cheerleader but I also don't want the alternative, because that's nothing but death and funny thing is, I still like life. Sometimes.

Anyway, I'm just sending this out to the void. As always. Hearing nothing but the silence return....

May 13, 2004 11:51 a.m.