I'm funny, see, because even though I thought I was over him I still kept him around inside :here: in subtle and well, hell, not so subtle ways. I just realized today, after thinking about everything, that I still carry around that picture of him in my purse. My PURSE. Like this isn't a big enough clue to me that obviously I'm still carrying around a piece of him. I kept meaning to throw it out or put it away but I never did. And so this morning, feeling the way I was feeling how weird to do you think it was to pull out his face and have it sitting there in my hands looking up at me?

I think I do these things to myself intentionally.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

And I still have the cds he made me. The letters he wrote. The flowers he sent, the gifts he gave. What sort of sick puppy am I? Was I somehow secretly hoping he'd come around?

I don't understand the things I do. How do I expect anyone else to?

:sigh:

In other news I got my film back from my little trip. Well, one roll. The black and white roll. (the roll that all aspiring pretentious photographers must have)They didn't come out as well as I'd like. I hate that. I had high hopes for the whole roll and only one or two are fit for human eyes. To be fair to myself I was using a new camera and it does has weird options on it that I'm not used to... but still. It bummed me out. Oh well. I still have hope for the color roll...

It was rough going back to work today after almost a whole week off. ouch. Talk about a slap in the caboose. Oh well. At least tomorrow is Friday and I have plans to see Red Dragon afterwards. Yay.

Us habitual loners need things to keep us occupied.