We were sent a bunch of photographs that she had- you know the kind, baby shots, birthday parties etc. My mom gave me some of them and I couldn't resist scanning them- most of them were scratched and old. One was even a polaroid, already peeling. When I look at them I don't reconize myself as being the person that is in then. I don't even look like that little girl anymore. It's so strange to look at pictures of yourself- it's as though you're looking at someone you don't even know.
Very innocent,right? Look at that little tow head! I wish my hair had stayed that color....
That's me and my grandmother. I look like a 1920's flapper in that hair do.
This one makes me the saddest because I was always very close to my grandfather. I was in college when he died- and it took me hard, even though he was 80+ years old and had a long life. But I still miss him.
That's me and my cousins, we were inseperable when I was young. Now I never talk to them. Life's very weird like that sometimes.
Today I'm dreaming of catching fireflies in a jar and swinging from the big tree in my grandfather's yard. We're collecting tadpoles in a bucket and getting lost on country roads. It's summer and it's humid and the air is thick with the smell of corn and honeysukle. We're eating berries and later getting very sick. We're sitting in the living room, my grandmother's cigarette smoke drifting over us and through the house.She's playing solitaire and losing. My grandfather and uncle are talking baseball and drinking coffee. My mom is laughing with her sisters. My cousin's, fighting over who gets to play with the Nerf football. All of this is memory, but it is as vivid to me as this screen in front of me. It is buried deep inside me, this sense of family. And no matter how far away from it I go, it is always there. Just waiting to be remembered.