Sometimes I wake up in the morning and want to be beautiful. Like, drop dead, make all the guys drool as I walk-by-beautiful. Movie Beautiful. Yes, of course, this kind of beauty rarely exists. But every now and then... I imagine what it would feel like to have guys clamoured around me, dying for a snippet of my attention. Knocking down my door instead of me knocking on theirs. Hell, I'd even settle for a pick up in a bar, instead of always ignored and being the designated driver after her friends have all 'hooked up'.

This fantasy of mine only lasts for a few minutes before I realize that I probably wouldn't like all that at all. I mean, I hate guys when they act stupid and more often than not? when a pretty girl is involved? they're stupid. I'd also hate feeling as though everyone was staring at me. Although if I had grown up beautiful, one could argue that my current personality would be much different. So then I figure I could live without the full fantasy as long as I had the great body and the nice teeth. I think I could swing the rest....

What is it within each of us that is never happy with what we have? You have to wonder if it ever ends, this desire to always be something better than you are. This insecurity that what we are is never going to be enough. I don't know why we worry about what other people think. We have a hard enough time just feeling good enough for ourselves.

Sigh.