I'm really, incredibly, quite inexplicably, stupid. I never learn. Do you see that patch of blood over there, where I was sitting? The trail that follows me wherever I go? Well, that's because the knife that I thought had disappeared has just been restablished as still there and still deep, in my back.

I don't know why I don't learn things the first (or in this case, second) time.

Suffice it to say I have been dicked over yet again, by the same person. After letting this person back into my little world, she has decided to run and tell everything to someone else. Not that there was a lot to tell, I didn't really fully trust her yet, but it's enough to cause a scene. So now work is stressful plus being full of back stabbing bitches who have nothing better to do than dump on me. Yay.

I don't know why I keep trusting people and being nice to them when they just turn around and screw me over... I don't know why this person feels this need to turn things against me and shit on me. All I have ever been is nice to her and she has consistently and frequently treated me any way she chooses. She has used me and my friendship time and time again. And like the gigantic idiot I am.. I let her.

It seems so clear, now.

But it still hurts. And leaves me shocked.