I want to go back through time and become a little girl again. I want to paint my first toenail. Apply my first streak of eyeshadow, get my first perm. I want to remember what it felt like to get a note from a boy you liked. How it felt when later, that same boy would pick on you in front of his friends to maintain his cool. I want to talk all night on the phone with my best friend. Buy one of those necklaces that break in half and pick which half of 'best friend' I wanted to wear around my neck. I want to go to my first slumber party and eat junk food and talk about boys and Duran Duran. I want to hold hands for the first time. Get gropped in a dark movie theater and pretend not to notice his hand creeping higher and higher along my side. I want to get asked out on my first date. Go steady. Get invited to the "Senior Dance". I want to tell that boy that broke my heart in my junior year that he was making a big mistake. I want to tell myself that I was okay the way I was, that I didn't need to be skinnier or taller or shorter or have cooler hair or smaller breasts. I want to pay more attention in class, spend more time learning. Spend more time just being instead of worrying about what other people thought. Spend more time with my grandparents before they die. And finally, I want more time to be nicer- to others and to myself and be proud of the woman I was about to become....

Yeah. I want all of that. Again.