I've been feeling very... useless. Not in a I'm going to hurt myself way, but more in a just get up, go to work, life is blah blah way. I can't really describe it very well and I've been keeping to myself. Creatively speaking I've really hit a low point and I've been trying to snap out of it. Yesterday I took a bath in candle light which was really delicious and soothing. I've been trying to listen to music as opposed to turning on the tv immediately. Music really helps free the brain. At least to me. I've been trying to nurture myself. Trying to de stress. Trying not to worry so much about things.
I can't tell if it's working yet. But I'll let you know...
It seems I still has some things to work through as far as certain people in (or out) of my life are concerned. It hit me the other night how I'm still not over the person I thought I was over. And how I seem to trace everything back to that failure. How I blame myself. How even though it wasn't working out, I still miss it. Miss him. Miss the idea of him. I liked thinking there was someone out there who cared about me. How heartbreaking to figure out that no one does. How encouraging to realize you're the only person who can take care of yourself, in the end.
So basically, everything's whirly.... I guess that's another sign of fall.
pass the hot cider.